This roller-coaster gets you nauseous,
Yet you haven’t even got on,
Ups and downs, assumptions inbound,
First time you’ve been on this one.
We’ve been on these rides, couple times,
Yet the flips and spins still scare you,
You strap up, take off, cover your eyes,
Missing the adventure in front of you.
You “know” you’ll be scared if you watch,
Because you’ve been on roller coasters before,
Yet they’re not all the same, this one can’t be blamed,
Can’t be afraid to take a ride once more.
If you looked for a moment you’d see…
These flips are different, these turns are new,
Yet every jolt of the cart, triggers jolt in your heart,
Afraid you’ll change your colors to black and blue.
If I tell you it’s safe, you tell me it’s not,
Only willing to hear the words in your head,
If you blind your eyes and deafen your ears,
We won’t need a crash to end up dead.
It shouldn’t be too surprising,
Wrong time, wrong place, some time ago,
Could it work now, somehow,
To be honest, I don’t know.
Feels like a roundabout really,
Déjà vu, I’ve seen this before,
With another face, though it felt the same,
When fabric of feelings once tore.
Past the deep fog in my eye,
A land of imagination lies,
Sky blue planes and lime green sky,
With running birds and bears that fly,
My eyes keep on you as they lie,
The image of you gets lost in my mind,
As I put focus to these thoughts of mine,
Creative, astounding and sublime,
But in your frustration you decide
I am not to give these thoughts much time,
But the food for thought you try to provide,
Lacks the taste of my exquisite design.
Don’t feed me your words raw,
Lest I choke on tasteless promises,
Coat them in the flavours I like,
With spices of endearing lies,
Lay them over the counter,
Spread them out flat,
Press down hard so they sink in,
Mix them with sweet words
So I won’t be bitter,
Don’t let one inch go uncovered,
So I may enjoy the feast of fuckery
You’ve prepared for me,
Served on a broken plate with no forks to give.
Words hurt, I know,
Not only when they hit you,
But even when they scrape their way
Through your teeth too,
Feels like your gums bleed emotion,
Your heart feels it as well,
A shiver it sends with a loud pulse,
Then the awkwardness swells,
You convinced yourself of this,
To put it all out on the floor,
Now strong feelings weigh your eyes,
Can’t look at their face anymore…
Silence…leaves their mouth just as swift,
You look back up just as far
Enough to see the look in their eyes,
Just as frightened as you are,
You readied your confession, but not your patience,
Your shields are down, wide open,
You look to their mouth, a slight twitch,
What happens after the silence is broken?
Seduce her with this art,
Prepare the complementary bullets
To draw tears from her eyes as you start
To tell her how she’s special and beautiful,
Wonderful, thoughtful, grateful and just full
Of all the things you love, what a mouthful
Of things you made up on the spot but it’s fine,
She’s blushing now, smiling with bright eyes
As you distract her from your undertone,
You exchange words, she replaces her
Intuition with false appreciation,
She won’t stop thinking of you now,
You’ve seduced her.
Tell me your lies again,
Whisper them softly so they may
Cover the pain in my side, you caused,
So much pain I can’t fathom the way
It hurts so much, yet these tears of joy,
Smile on my face carries away
The doubt, I rub the wound,
You pierce the flesh and I pray,
Forgiveness falls on you because no one deserves,
The way you tainted me.
Rivers of diligence flow here,
Pouring into the sea of the world,
Big fish, little fish, swim their hardest,
For the prize they think they deserve.
They put their best foot forward,
Stretched beside eager competitors,
But for some strides, not as strong,
Strength only deserving of silver.
Your trophy, your medal,
Manifested symbols of competition,
Pride and glory, never satisfied,
Only repressed to remission.
Iced poison slips down wet throats
Of children trying to be adults,
Too young to know regret,
Filling their emerged bodies with toxins,
In the name of appearances, names, false confidence.
Toxic fumes slips through the lungs
Of the child with a curious flame,
Inhaling a promise of death, voluntarily,
Smiling while gripping their chests, with burning eyes,
Covering dying lungs with masks of living life.
Characteristic fluids flow through bodily caverns,
Of children desiring a forbidden pleasure,
A bombardment of bodies and culminating feelings,
Surging emotions and abuse of the flesh,
Common cause of undeserved accomplishment.
My two hands, comrades in this,
Forced to the floor with weight from above,
Pushing my problems through the ground,
The same force pushes me up.
Salted memories flood from my pores,
Creating a shine of armour on my skin,
Backed by an army of endorphins and adrenaline,
Fighting the pain, for a little peace of mind.